You Should not Be in Second Life

Today’s post is a bit different. I know, I am polarizing with this. I also know it is a bit provocative and might even be a slightly polemic. That is done on purpose to incite thought and discussion. I know there are always shades of grey between black and white.

I have been in Second Life now for many years. I met all kind of characters, people and got to see a lot of different perspectives and aspects of Second Life, RPG, sex games and virtual worlds in general. Sometimes I met people and asked myself: „What is he/she doing here? Hey, dude you took the wrong exit“.

I will try to portray some of these stereotypes in the following and even show them alternatives:

The Sex Gamer

Yes I know, I am in the sex business myself. In addition, I actually pretty much enjoy the sexual part of Second Life very much. Nothing wrong with that, who am I to judge. After all, I am an escort who actually makes money offering what you are looking for in Second Life.

However, are you one of those guys or girls who every time you log into SL all you want, all you think about is getting laid?

Do you get bored easily, when somebody talks to you about building, social events, sailing or the Second Life economy? You TP away when you realize somebody is not into sex right now?

Do you always wear the same outdated outfit? Is your home (if you can be bothered having one at all) a cheap sky-box rental with a strong focus on sex animations?

You spend all your time in sex regions, nude beaches or escort places?

When you see an attractive lady you almost immediately come out with a sexual approach, ranging from “very sexy avatar” going over to “looking for some fun?”. Or is your approach a straight forward “wanna fuck?”.

I just met one of you guys yesterday at the bar in my office (see featured picture), which actually inspired me to write this post.

I have got news for you. Bad news and good news. The bad news is that Second Life is not the right place for you. You are wasting precious time which you could actually spend on virtual sex elsewhere.

Unless you are using escort girls in Second time, it takes far too much effort to chat up a girl and most times you end up being frustrated, even angry.

You did not realize, that Second Life is not a virtual swinger club. Let me ask you this: If you would walk into a real life bar, dance club, a shop or on a public beach, would you behave the same way? You probably would not.

The good news is, there is a place on the internet which would suit you much better. A place where people go with the intention to have virtual sex. Full stop. Not only that you meet people there with the same motivation as yourself, but the sex is actually better than in Second Life. Better graphics, better animations. It also features some social spots like music clubs and similar locations full of people who joined an online 3d sex game with guess what in mind. Easy game.

I wrote a couple of reviews and stories about my own experience in 3DXChat. You find them here: Caroline in 3DXChat.

Here is the door: 3DXChat

The Time Waster

You have lots of time on your hand and you spend most of it in Second Life. You are not for business reasons in Second Life. It’s not that you see Second Life as a potential alternative to a real life job. You are just having fun, you go dancing, you are chatting with your friends and even spend some money (which you do not really have) for shopping in Second Life.

In real life you are physically in good shape, you have got no health problems or other serious issues, but for whatever reason you are unemployed since quite some time. You haven’t got huge savings and the monthly bills cause you sleepless nights and headaches.

Listen honey! Seriously, get awake! Shut down this fucking computer and go get a job. If you can not find one, think about alternatives.

Take courses, finish your studies, improve your CV, send more job applications, consider moving elsewhere, do voluntary work. Do anything but Second Life.

Once you have sorted out your first life, please come back on the weekends or evenings. Its gonna be so much more fun to you.

There is another option:

Try to see Second Life from a different perspective. Make it your job! No, I am not talking about escorting or becoming a stripper. There are plenty of opportunities. But be serious about it. It takes a lot of learning, practice, patience and time.

The most successful designers in Second Life work hard on their stuff. A work day in Second Life means for most of them 12 or more hours actually creating things, finding marketing opportunities, serving clients and much more.

Stay away from the clubs for now, read tutorials instead. Make a compelling website and learn how to promote websites. Talk to successful people in Second Life and learn from them.

Do you know the story of the creator of TNT Furniture? No? This is a must read for you then: Sex beds: the story of a Second Life furniture magnate.

The guy is making 3.000 US Dollar in a single week! By the way, this blog you are reading at the moment is actually a serious source of income for myself. Want to know, how to make money with blogging? Contact me inworld for a chat about that one.

Stop wasting your time and do something productiv, which can potentially change your live!

The Online Chatter

The first questions you ask somebody you just met in-world are, „how old are you?“ and „where are you from?“ You get annoyed, even aggressive when somebody has no real life info on their profile. Terms like „immersion“ or „virtual personality“ sound suspicious to you. Anyone who portrays the opposite gender in Second Life is a „fake“ to you. You ask for RL pictures and voice verification.

You even insist, thinking you have the right to know. You call people names if they refuse.

You intrude in somebody’s real life without their consent. You even believe this is totally acceptable. Ideally you would love to meet up in real as well or at least meet on Skype.

You are not a bad person. You simply did not understand the concept of Second Life. That’s OK! I have a constructive suggestion for you as well. There are places on the web, which would suit you much better. I am not talking about the obvious ones, like dating sites, Facebook or ICQ Chat, because you obviously like the visual effect of 3D graphics.

Try IMVU. It is a 3D graphical chat with a lot of 3D chat rooms. Imagine a hyprid between ICQ and Second Life and you are not far off.

They have adult options as well and they demand age verification with an actual ID or passport. Most participants have a similar attitude as you have and the best thing about it is: there are between 80.000 and 100.000 chatters like you online any time of the day.

Yes, the graphics are not even close to what we are used to from Second Life, but hey that’s not that important to you, is it? You prefer to see the real person behind those pixels anyway, right? Good, nothing wrong with that mate. You just ended up at the wrong place.

Give it a try here: IMVU.

The Intolerant Asshole

You judge other people’s sexual orientation or their sexual fantasies. Being gay is either a perversion or a sickness to you. People into BDSM need urgent medical attention in your opinion. The lowest form of virtual life are escort girls and strippers in Second Life.

You have a problem with creative people who reinvent themselves completely in Second Life. You belittle every avatar which is not 100% human. You think Furies are a childish stupidity and everybody living as a child in Second Life is a pervert.

You ignore people for not speaking English and your prefer the company of people from your own country, white people of course.

Mate, you definitely took the wrong exit. This is not for you at all. Do us a favor: Please leave! Unfortunately, I can not even recommend a sound alternative in your case. Maybe try a Donald Trump fan party or the Ku Klux Klan. I am sure you would make a lot of friends there.

The Griefer

You had fun last night when you tested this simulation of a nuclear weapon in that night club full of people, didn’t you?

You love  to bump around people in Sandboxes whilst they try to concentrate on some complicated building stuff. You insult people in voice just for the fun of it. To copy or scraped other peoples work is a sport to you.

Let me tell you a secret (/me speaks with a hushed voice): The internet is not totally anonymous nor is Second Life. Not only that you disrespect the terms on which you were allowed into Second Life (TOS), you are acting on the borderline to commit criminal offenses. Don’t think you are untouchable, they can get you and if you overdo it, they will!

OK, enough of this now.

Dear readers, have you met any of those in your Second Life? How do you deal with them? Did I miss out on other stereotypes which took the wrong exit ending up in Second Life?

Feel free to comment.

14 thoughts on “You Should not Be in Second Life

  1. My problem, and one of the reason I find myself liking this blog so much, is the separation I come across in SL between sex and creativity.

    All to often, I find that a lot of the “creatives” and creators I like seem to roll their eyes at SL sex as a waste of time, or simply don’t discuss it. On the other hand, the folks hat are coming in to SL just for sex are usually …..uhm…. how can I say this nicely…They are lacking a lot in the way of creativity. I see no reason why the two can’t be part of a conversation. In fact, I think that each enhances the other. Keep up the good work.

  2. Emmm in all the heat in the comment section for this one, I just want to say Great post and hope you all have a good day.

    And Carol, you rock baby!

  3. As someone who does go to SL for the virtual sex, I have to completely disagree with you on it not being the right place for it.

    “it takes far too much effort to chat up a girl and most times you end up being frustrated, even angry.”

    That’s not the experience I have at all, it’s relatively easy to find like minded people in second life. It’s crowded with them.

    “If you would walk into a real life bar, dance club, a shop or on a public beach, would you behave the same way?”

    No, but going to an adult sim in sl is nothing like any of those real life examples. Those sims exists specifically for those kind of interactions.

    “The good news is, there is a place on the internet which would suit you much better.”

    Nope, that’s just a more expansive place and I very much doubt that you would get a better experience.

    1. Hello Johny,

      You think it’s more expensive? In 3dxchat you get all the content for 20 US per month. In Second Life you need to buy decent outfits, animations and what have you. I did personaly spend far more than that in Second Life. But on the flip side of the coin is, that if you want to, you can actually make money in Second Life. But if you don’t Second Life is not cheap at all.

      I am lucky to be cash positiv in Second Life. But how many are? Less than 5000 Residents.


      1. I’ve never spend money on second life.
        So yes, 20 bucks is a lot imho.
        Plenty of ways to make money in world and it’s not hard to look good on a budget.

    2. Not to mention, those adult social games have monthly fees to access ontop of any invested customization and sprucing up of the characters

      In addition there’s still nothing that compares to the amount of variation in avatars ya can get in SL. Certainly wouldn’t be able to make yourself an anthro/furry look or shortstacked goblin, hulking space alien, etc etc in things like RedLightDistrict or 3DXchat

  4. I understand as a journalist you have the right to post all opinions you might have but i do think its sadly you brought Trump into this.

    “Mate, you definitely took the wrong exit. This is not for you at all. Do us a favor: Please leave! Unfortunately, I can not even recommend a sound alternative in your case. Maybe try a Donald Trump fan party or the Ku Klux Klan. I am sure you would make a lot of friends there.”

    I get really tired of hearing about all the crap. When mostly its the journalist and people against Trump that seem to be racist and making comments. I’m far from racist but I am a middle class citizen and think its time to take back the country as many other people do. I really don’t think Second life is the place to discuss politics as many peopole go there to get away from RL crap. I merely stumbled across this page and thought I might find some useful info even though I am a veteran SL’r so to speak. I thought this website might be helpful but after reading that small piece I don’t think I will be back to read anymore. Funny thing is I always thought journalist were supposed to be neutral about politics etc.

    1. Dear Lissa

      I am a blogger.

      That is not exactly the same as a journalist for the press. And yes, you are right about one thing: I have the right to post all opinions I might have, as long as I do not breach any laws. Period. Love it or hate it, but that’s the way it is!

      This post was actually not about Donald Trump. But now that you brought it up: Donald Trump is in my opinion, nothing but a racist. Taking back the country? Seriously? Nobody has stolen your country. The USA always was, still is and will always be a country that was/is build by immigrants. The only people who could make a statement like “taking the country back”, are actually the native Americans also referred to as Indians. Every other American is a descendent of an immigrant, no exceptions. Yes, that most likely includes yourself. Your roots are British, Italian, Irish, German, African, Hispanic, French amongst many others.

      Without immigration the USA would merely exist and New York City would probably still be a relatively small and insignificant town called New Amsterdam (Yes, that’s what it was called before the British took it over). Immigration and diversification is what made America great. It doesn’t need a Trump to “to make it great again”, instead Trump will “make America look stupid again”.

      Before the elections in the USA, there was this running joke here in Europe (in the context of the UK leaving the EU): “The Americans and Brits are in a competition who makes himself look more stupid. At the moment the Brits are leading but the Americans have the Trump card.”

      Apart from all that Donald Trump is a sexist and an anti-social bankruptcy merchant. He is rude, ego driven, narcissistic and asocial. I have to give him one thing: At least he is not as stupid and uneducated as George W. Bush. But that is not really an achievement, it is very difficult to beat Bush in that one.

      You thought journalist were supposed to be neutral about politics? On which planet do you live? On the planet I live, journalists do have an opinion and voice them too. And just for your information: Bloggers are by nature very biased and opinionated.

      You don’t like it? Go read something else then.


      1. “Lissa Shim” clearly over-reacted. Kudos, Carol, for your well balanced reply. I’ll be back to read your blog anyway even if she isn’t.

        Happy New Year!

      2. Thank you Carol, yes I am aware of your “blogger status” And thats awesome you are trying to educate people on SL, kudos to you for that. You are right the Native Americans were here first, and yes the govenment did take it away from them I won’t argue that fact at all. And yes it is made of up immigrants, I have no qualm regarding that.And by taking our country back, bringing jobs back for those out of work(yes there are several sponges who won’t work, and those people should have their government assistance removed, and perhaps drug test given as well. As well as keeping our rights as citizens.
        I work in a factory, putting in 50 plus hours a week when the overtime is available to support my three kids and myself. Without overtime, there is no extras, and not much in the pantry. No that isn’t your problem but funny enough the day after the election results overtime was available which made me able to give my kids a somewhat decent Christmas and some extra food in the house. Before you assume, I was married 20 years and went thru a divorce while i was a stay at home mom, all three kids have the same father and no I don’t receive child support or any assistance.
        Anyways back to Trump, I really don’t care what his personal life was but what he can do to make things better for my kids.
        As far as your blog and reading, I merely stumbled upon it and found it might be interesting to read but finding alot of negativity and yes I will go read elsewhere as I think there might be other blogs without so much negativity. I do appreciate your response as well as the person who remains Anon for whatever reason. I wish you well in your endeavors and blogging. I hope the New Year brings you good health, lots of wealth,peace and wisdom.

  5. What about the type of person that stays in world but afk all day hehe
    similar to the online chatter, except barely active chatting. Probably in world on their mobile device 🙂

    1. Hello Joy,

      thanks for commenting. This type I do actually understand. There a lot of business owners who answer client enquiries on mobil chat. They sit the avi somwhere in their office and keep all day online mobil, in order to be reachable for customer support.

      Thats a good practise I think.


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