I think we agree that when you first joined Second Life or any other online sex game, you were enticed to try virtual sex, but you didn’t have a clue how to actually go about it.

Right?

In this guide, I will show you step-by-step how virtual sex in online sex games works. I will help you to increase the quality and quantity of your Second Life sex life. This guide will use Second Life as an example, but much of it applies to other online sex games as well (For example 3DXChat).

Promised!

I have sex in different online games. I am naughty. The first time (with this avatar) was at Paradies Beach with Tristan, but many encounters with other users followed.

I even became a professional sex worker in Second Life, an escort girl. I lost count of how many men I had sex with. Certainly a few hundred, and I have done it at least a thousand times.

I share my experience with you and write a guide for noobs about how to have exciting sex in online games and virtual worlds.

Get The Tools (Genitals)!

Cock in Second Life
Cock in Second Life

I am sure you have noticed that your avatar comes without genitals in Second Life. Hence the first thing you need to do is get yourself a penis/vagina.

Here is a bit of important advice:

Second Life is a visual medium. Hence, it is of particular importance that you choose genitals that look realistic and are in line with the color of your skin.

There are freebie penises around, but from what I have seen, they look horrible. It is certainly not a turn-on to look at an avatar with a cock that seems made of wood and has a different color than your avatar’s skin.

At this point, it makes sense to invest a little bit of money to get a decent and realistic design.

They usually come with a color changer, which allows you to adapt their color to your skin color. For the sake of aesthetics, please make that effort!

Contrary to common belief:

Some people find those Xcite attachments very sexy. They react to clicks on them in open chat. I crunch at the thought of a talking penis. I have yet to find out why people buy this stuff. But hey, if it rocks your boat, go ahead and get a talking penis.

I think I got fucked with every type and brand of penis available in Second Life. I found the most realistic ones you get from a brand called “Physics Cock”. For women, I recommend The V.

The V Bento Vagina
The V Bento Vagina

Buy those at Candy’s sex shop.

Make sure you understand the functions of the hud that comes with it. Especially how to get the angle of an erected penis right. It just doesn’t look good when it is not where it should be (in a pussy that is).

There are tutorials available as well.

Get an Attractive Second Life Avatar

Caroline Takeda
Caroline Takeda

Like in real life, you have better chances if you look good. It’s as simple as that. With the prefab Linden Avatar, you will find it very difficult to get laid.

Many residents have as a personal policy not to do anything sexual unless the person is at least adult-verified.

I expect payment details on file because a minor will most likely not have access to a credit card.

If you are not into using voice, joining a voice verification group might be a good idea. That means you will have to do ONE call to somebody to verify your gender.

For some people, it is essential to know what gender the person behind an avatar is. Others might not be concerned about that (me, for example) as they see virtual sex more as a form of role play, hence taking the avatar at face value.

On that matter, please read this post: Playing the opposite gender?

Emotes Increase the Quality of Virtual Sex

This is an important one. Emoting is describing what and, most importantly, how you do something. It is written in open chat or IM using the third person.

Technically, what you do is write /me before whatever you want. This will format your text slightly differently than normal open chat and remove the: after your name.

An emote would look like this:

“Caroline opens her bra, lets it slide to the floor, smiling suggestively, and says, “You like what you see?”

Do you get the idea?

It’s a written role-play. This gives an erotic encounter a completely different quality as opposed to just looking at two avatars playing animations. The entire encounter is a combination of both animations and emotes.

Do yourself a favor, and don’t do what we call “thought emotes.”

We had an interesting discussion about emoting here: Is emoting in sex play overrated?

Second Life Sex Animations

There are several ways to get those animations.

First of all, furniture is available with built-in menus for sex animations. You can buy this furniture and rez it in your home if you have one.

If you don’t have your own land/home yet, you can use furniture provided at many adult places.

Make sure you know some of those locations before chatting with a girl. Ideally, you know some places with a pleasant erotic or romantic atmosphere or use a hotel room.

Travel around a bit and landmark places you like.

The second possibility is so-called sex huds. Those are huds you attach to your screen, and whenever you click on them, you pose balls in front of you.

Those have the advantage of adding animations to them, and you no longer depend on furniture. However, they only work on land where the owner allows rezing.

There are plenty of sex huds available for all kinds of tastes and preferences. You can get Some basic ones for free, and the more sophisticated ones cost between 2.000 and 5.000 Linden Dollars.

There are also some huds available, which play entire scenes with very smooth transitions between animations.

You can either play the entire set of animations automatically, having your hands free for typing (or whatever you want to do with them), or you can individually play the animations in the order of your preference.

The transitions look smooth and realistic, contributing to a more “real” experience. Once you have used a hud like this, you will probably never return to the regular huds.

Some basic sex huds you can get for free on marketplace.secondlife.com. However, If you want to impress the lady, if she is an experienced player, a freebie won’t do it unless you compensate with really good, detailed, and imaginative emotes!

Masturbating During Virtual Sex

It is fine. Most people do it. All of my clients did it. I do it. It is a turn-on to know my partner cums in real.

But:

It is essential to understand that not everybody who indulges in a sex scene in Second Life is seeking satisfaction in real life. Many enjoy the erotic role play and immersion. Germans call that “Kopfkino.”

If you are with somebody like that, avoid comments about what you do in Real Life.  Statements like “I wank myself faster now in real life” will kill it for your partner if he/she only role-plays sex.

Make sure you both are on the same planet in that sense.

However, many people masturbate while having virtual sex. That’s fine. There is nothing wrong with that.

I have a suggestion for those people: Try to match reality with virtual reality. What I mean by that is to adapt your rhythm to what you see on the screen and only erect your virtual parts if it happens in real life.

The same applies to cuming. Only hit that cum button on the hud when you just did climax in real.

It gives a bit more of the feeling of “being there” and doing it with your partner, compared to just wank over pixel porn.

Try it; it does make a huge difference!

Using Lovense Remote Toys With Second Life and 3DXChat

Lovense toys are remote-controlled vibrators. They exist in various forms and are available for both genders.

Max 2 for Men:

Lush Lovense for Girls:

You are wondering what this has to do with Second Life and the virtual sex game 3DXChat. Second Life furniture that can connect to the Lovense toy is now available, and all 3DXChat animations can now connect to your Lovense toy.

Seriously. I am not kidding you. This takes Second Life sex play to the next level.

Mood Killer

Here is a list that kills it for me, at least:

  • Software crash: If that happens and your partner is not in the mood anymore, respect that and try another day.
  • Overusing the menu: Give it time for role play to develop; it does kill the mood if you flick around the menu as if you want to win a prize for “Who gets through the menu first.”
  • Sending cock pics: Yes, I know you are proud of him, but guess what, I don’t care, and I am not interested to see him. I am not interested in any real pictures of you. Keep your pics to yourself unless she asks for them.
  • Inappropriate locations: Did I mention the furniture shops?
  • AAAAAHHs and OOOOOOOOHs in chat. Come on, you can do better than that.
  • A sudden change of location. Finish it where you started.

Practice With AFK Girls in Second Life

AFK virtual sex places in second life
AFK sex places

There are numerous places in Second Life where people leave their avatars on a sex bed or similar type of furniture when they are AFK (away from the keyboard). You can use them for virtual sex play: AFK sex places in Second Life.

Bear in mind they do this to earn some Linden Dollars. Be friendly and leave a tip after you use her.

This is a great way to practice. Mainly get used to the hud of the penis. It takes a bit of practice to get the angle right when you have him in her pussy (or her mouth).

It looks weird when you screw the bed. You don’t want that to happen when you are with a girl in a virtual sex situation. It can be a mood killer.

Practice With a Waitress at Candy’s Sex Cafe and Hotel in Second Life

Candy's Sex Cafe in Second Life
Candy’s Sex Cafe in Second Life

This is a cafe in Second Life where you can use life girls for sex. Free of charge even. The girls are not AFK girls. It’s life sex for free. But again, they need to pay the rent, be nice, and leave a tip. The girls are not AFK girls.

This is a perfect way to practice your sex skills before actually going on a date.

Virtual Sex Dates in Second Life

It depends on what you are looking for.

If you are looking for uncomplicated, no strings attached, and drama-free sex, go to locations that cater precisely to that. Those regions are typically A-rated and can be easily found in the viewer’s search facility.

Type “sex”, “BDSM”, “swinger club,” “CMNF”(clothed male naked females), “gay”, “lesbian”, or whatever takes your fancy in the search box under “places”. A list shows up ordered by traffic.

It’s as simple as that.

Go there, and you find a lot of like-minded people. Not everybody’s cup of tea, though.

Join their groups, or search for sex-related groups to join. A typical one would be: “ Time for Quickie”.

Or visit the list of popular sex places I have visited for you already. You find them here: sex places in Second Life.

If you are the more romantic, try one of the more popular dance places—preferably jazz clubs or ballroom-style venues.

Make sure you dress the part when going to a more formal dating venue in Second Life. You should have at least one decent tuxedo in your inventory. Bear in mind that those places are typically G-rated.

The Best Second Life Sex Dating Tip:

Find an activity you like in Second Life that is NOT sex-related. Join their group and socialize with other members, attend their events, and participate in group chats. This way, you find people with interests similar to yours.

Make friends and see if you click with someone enough to ask her/him out for a date.

This requires more effort, obviously, but might result in more meaningful or deeper relationships than a quickie around the corner.

Make an Effort

It might get you a response similar to a girl in real life.  The girls in Second Life do not sit around all day waiting to please you or for you to fuck them.

Remember, there is a natural person behind every avatar. Be respectful, and don’t assume everybody is just for sex in Second Life.

If you fancy someone, chat with the person, try to get to know her a bit, and use your imagination to seduce her.

Read her/his profile before you approach her/him.

This might save you embarrassing situations such as approaching a lesbian or somebody with a partner.

What next?

Take her out dancing, show her lovely places, and most importantly, converse and wait for the right moment to talk about sex.

An erotic encounter is much more excellent if you “click” with that person. Otherwise, it’s not sex, but nothing but just boring pixel porn, also referred to as “poseball hoping”.

Respect Other People’s Limits

Not everyone wants to use voice or webcam. If she doesn’t like to, respect it. The same goes for sexual preferences. If she is not into BDSM or whatever you might have in mind, don’t be pushy.

Being pushy can be easily understood as “sexual harassment,” which gets you very fast on ban lists, and if reported, you might even get kicked out of Second Life entirely.

Deal with rejection maturely. It is childish to start insulting or lecturing a person who does not want to have sex with you. Call it a day and try elsewhere (or improve your skills and looks).

Virtual Sex Worker in Second Life

Are you looking for a very sophisticated erotic experience with somebody who really knows how to please even the most discerning virtual sex seeker?

Try a professional virtual sex worker!

The advantages are obvious:

Sex workers know exactly how to please. They typically have very sexy and sophisticated avatars, and they don’t get angry when you want to leave them afterward.

They don’t fall in love, don’t provide drama, are available at your discretion, and are of the utmost discretion.

There are many escort and stripper clubs in Second Life where you can easily pick up an escort.

Some are more sophisticated than others. Search for “escort” in the places search. You will be surprised how many such places exist in Second Life.

What’s The Kick of Second Life Sex?

Much has been written about this, but I don’t have to do that either. Here are a few links on the subject for those who want to deal with it more intensively (pun intended):

John Rider on the Psychology of Cyberspace:
http://users.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/getneed.html

Stanford University study on the subject.
http://vhil.stanford.edu/pubs/2013/fox-chb-sexualized-virtual-selves.pdf

An article about it in the Guardian http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2008/sep/04/virtualworlds.secondlife

Conclusion

This guide should give you an idea of what’s required. Get it right and have fun. If you need advice or practice, feel free to contact me.

🙂

Avatar Name: Caroline Takeda

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